I have a pretty small bridal party. Two of my teenage nieces and my best friend of 20 years. In asking them I committed several serious bridal taboos early on. I believe I asked my matron of honor to fill that role in the same phone call I told her I was engaged. I asked my teen nieces to be bridesmaids on the phone about a year before the wedding. Luckily I still adore the hell out of all three of them and my errors have no bearing on their involvement with the wedding.
What did I do "wrong"???
1. I asked too darn early apparently. I guess a year is enough time to have riffs with folks and then still be stuck with them in the wedding.
2. I asked over the phone instead of in writing or in person. My wedding etiquette has not been stellar through all this process, so oooops. I can't do the in-person thing anyway too easily, they live 2 and 3 time zones away from me.
I do feel a bit bad that I have not put anything in writing with them yet besides the save-the-dates. To make up for it I am making some bridal party thank you packages. I made these cards for the six-month wedding mark:
I mostly used materials already around the house. Chipboard, old contact paper, construction paper, vellum paper, and ribbon.
I bound the board like you would with book binding and attached the construction paper over the loose seams. I folded the board over and made two holes with a corkscrew for the ribbon.
I am also sending them these purses I bought from a local Indian importer:
My fiance and I have noticed that we are enjoying animal elements in our wedding planning. Particularly elephants, peacocks, and of course bunnies. There is a "four friends" fable about these three animals with the monkey exhibiting a structured cooperation and this is why they are able to thrive very well.
I am going to send a copy of this fable with an update about their dress and accessory situation inside the purse with the card.
I listed what I did "wrong" when I picked my bridal party. I think it is only fair that I mention what I did "right" as well.
1. I picked people that I love dearly and haven't questioned if I made a wrong choice once. I have been pressured by several folks trying to get into my bridal party that I have much love for but do not trust like I do the attendants I chose.
2. I asked their input to select wedding day attire that they can handle financially as well as options so that they are the most comfortable at the wedding.
3. I keep them in the loop with wedding planning, but don't expect them to be fawning over me and my situation right now. I told them all that their main duty is to hang with me while I get dressed at the wedding and support me when I say my vows.